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5 Office Party Do’s and Don’ts

I bet the first thing that came to your mind when you read the title is obvious – the recent case where a young lawyer got drunk hanging out with colleagues after work and was responsible for the deaths of two people.

We all know what should and should not be done, yet we don’t mind crossing boundaries once in a while. However, that once in a while may be too heavy a price to pay for your reputation.

Most of us socialize outside of the office with the people we work with. Whether it’s a celebration for the completion of a major project or a dinner invite to your boss’s home, or a party with your distributors and dealers, you want to be relaxed and at the same time put your best foot forward. You should be able to have fun at such events and return to office with your head held high.

Follow these 5 rules to be remembered as the life of the party for all the right reasons:

1. Do follow the instructions on the invite: Firstly make sure you RSVP after you receive an invite. Read and adhere to the instructions mentioned – party theme and dress code. The invite will also tell you if you are expected to attend with your spouse or partner. If required do inform the name of your guest.
2. Do arrange for transportation after the party: It is the prudent thing to think about your transportation back home after the party. Get colleagues who may live in your area to car pool that day and hire a driver for the drive back. If that’s not an option taking a taxi is the best solution.
3. Do use the opportunity to network: Use the opportunity to network, make new friends and create a better rapport with colleagues across departments. Discuss hobbies and other interests for deeper connections with people. Network with people who you may not be directly working with but may play a role in furthering your career.   
   
4. Do not get inebriated: Needless to say, it’s highly inappropriate to be over drinking at an office party. Know your limits and stick to them.
5. Do not talk shop or complain about your workplace and colleagues: It’s very easy to get into the trap of gossiping and cribbing about one’s workplace and colleagues at office meet-ups. Keep away from joining such office groups. Your original seemingly harmless remark may get blown out of proportion and retold all over office. Work related discussions should be kept brief. If the invite is extended to spouses they may find the work conversation uninteresting. Small talk is what is required and expected at office parties.  

Do thank the organizers for their efforts. Making a good impression at office parties will help you build a good reputation. 

7 Tips For Successful Business Entertaining

Business entertaining is a fine art. Many a deal have been struck not at an office meeting but in a more relaxed environment like lunch or dinner or on the golf greens. Sharing time with people, over a meal, away from the office environment can help build a more personal relationship and cement your working relationships. 

Hosting a business lunch or dinner should be a pleasant experience. With a little bit of planning, you can ensure that the meal is a success. Here are some tips you can follow to ensure that your business lunch is remembered for all the right reasons.

1. Send formal invites. Sending out invites well in time will ensure that your guests are available to attend. An invite sent a week or ten days in advance is preferable. Ensure that you remind the guests a day prior to the event. The invite should give directions to the venue as well as the dress code.
2. It is all about the guest. Keep the preferences of the guests in mind when selecting the restaurant. Ask beforehand if any of the guests have any specific restrictions or allergies and preferences like vegetarian or vegan food to avoid any issues later.
3. Visit the venue beforehand. It is a good idea to visit the restaurant beforehand to make sure that they can cater to your needs. You may want to choose a table and reserve it – one that affords privacy. Guests should feel comfortable about talking business without being overheard. You may want to issue any specific instructions in advance. 
4. Seating arrangements. The position of honor is always to the right of the host. The second highest-ranking guest sits to your left. The third honored guest sits to the right of your first honored guest. Gender does not play a role in determining a seat of honor while rank does.
   
5. It is not about the food. This is the most important thing to keep in mind. Food that requires too much attention to be eaten or becomes messy while eating should be avoided.  Nobody wants to have to dig into a huge plate full of food and have to stop talking. Order small non messy dishes which will not interfere with the conversation.
6. It’s not about the drink either. The worst thing to do is to become inebriated during a business meet. Stay very sober so you can focus on the discussion and not lose control.
7. While entertaining international visitors, study their social norms. Even inadvertently violating cultural taboos can cause great offence. Hence it is best to keep in mind the cultural variations with respect to greetings and eating time. For example while hugging is an acceptable form of greeting for anyone from Latin America, bowing is the best greeting for your guests from Japan. Americans and Europeans have early evening dinner time.

Says Vineet Thakar, Vice President at an MNC, "Business lunches are more about furthering the relationship. I have observed that many executives keep their cell phones on the table and take their calls at the table itself. It is important that you keep the phone on silent and accept only the calls that are important after you excuse yourself.  Responding to every call, texting or messaging conveys a message to the others at the table that they are less important than the person on the phone."

Do share your experiences and views.

Suhasini's tips on Office Lunch Etiquette in Afternoon Newspaper

Afternoon lunches in office are about getting together with colleagues and sharing some food and light talk. Right? However, what you may think to be harmless banter or chat, could affect your relationship with colleagues and how you are perceived could affect work in general. Remember it's still office, and office colleagues, hence office etiquette should be followed

Read tips from Suhasini on things to mind, and do's and dont's during those office lunches, in Mumbai's Afternoon Despatch & Courier. 

Got questions? Have some thoughts or experiences you would like to share? Please comment below.

Happy reading and have a great lunch.

All about Women speaks to Suhasini

AllAboutWomen.in India’s foremost website for women catering to the contemporary and opinionated woman, spoke to Suhasini regarding Image Consulting and how it helps.

Read it here http://www.allaboutwomen.in/suhasini-ahluwalia-mehta-helps-us-with-image-consultation/

Feel free to comment and ask questions if any. You may also click on the connect tab above and connect with Suhasini.

Enjoy reading. 

5 Tips For Reading Facial Expressions

We say a lot even when we don’t say a thing. Body language is a clear give-away of what we’re feeling or thinking. Awareness will help us improve our body language and read others too! 

‘Lie To Me’ was a fascinating series featuring a deception detection expert who spotted criminals purely on facial expressions. It was based on the work of Dr Paul Ekman, the co-discoverer of micro-expressions.

Our facial expressions reflect what we feel on the inside and are therefore important to understand. Communication in offices today is done around a conference room table where body language like hand gestures, posture, crossing legs and facial expressions are noted.

Here are 5 things to keep in mind to understand facial expressions:

1. Should be consistent with our words: giving mixed cues of verbal and non-verbal communication is confusing. Always be consistent in what is being said and how it is said. For example, you may be unwell and in pain and you go in for a first meeting with someone. Your facial expressions may be inconsistent with your language and may be wrongly interpreted by the other person.
   
   
2. Eye contact: Eyes are called ‘the window to the soul’ and are said to ‘speak a thousand words’. Maintaining eye contact when speaking indicates interest. While intense staring is interpreted as aggression, shifty eyes that can’t hold a gaze are interpreted as the person being insincere. For example, if a junior looks away when timelines are being chalked out, the manager may not feel confident that he will deliver. 
   
   
   It is wise, however, to know the cultural impact of eye contact. Extended eye contact is not appropriate in certain cultures.
   
   
3. Eye movement: Blinking is a very minor movement but an important observation in a conversation. Blinking rate tends to increase when a person is stressed or uncomfortable. It also increases when the mind wanders.
   
   
   When someone is excited by an idea their pupils will be significantly more dilated. Similarly, looking down at the floor is a natural response when someone is not being truthful. Awareness about these cues gives may give you an edge in a conversation or negotiation.
   
   
4. Micro Expressions: Micro expressions are brief involuntary facial expressions that are difficult to fake and reveal the true inner feelings of a person. There are seven universal micro expressions: disgust, anger, fear, sadness, happiness, surprise and contempt. They often occur as fast as 1/15 to 1/25 of a second.
   For example – you may be speaking with an industry associate who may reiterate that he doesn't see you as competition but his facial expression says otherwise. You may detect that slight one sided slant that appears to be a smile but is actually contempt.
   
   
5. Lips: Pursed lips could indicate distaste or disapproval. Lip biting may mean stress. Covering mouth is indicative of hiding an emotional response. Slight changes in the mouth are subtle indicators of how a person is feeling – slightly up means happy, slightly down could mean sad or disapproval. A sincere smile will go a long way in establishing rapport with the other person. 

An awareness of facial expressions will help us develop more empathy and emotional intelligence as it helps us recognize feelings in others and therefore helps us respond better to others. 

When I take Image management sessions for my clients, non verbal communication is an important area that people come back and say has helped them in their daily lives.

7 Tips To A Good Handshake

A senior manager once told me that the key to creating a rapport, that first connection, with his clients is his smile and handshake. That’s the moment he’s got half the sale because he has set the tone of the meeting and made his clients feel at ease.

26% of hiring managers say that a weak handshake is a major turnoff for a job seeker.

It is not without reason that first impressions are called last impressions. A good handshake tells your story. It shows the person you are greeting, your personality as well as your attitude.

Messages a handshake can convey
•       The Bone crusher or Vice handshake – bone breaking squeeze. Aggressive, overbearing.
•       The Dead fish or Limp handshake – weak and clammy hands. Disinterested, introvert,            shaky, not confident.
•       The Claw – using only fingers in a claw-like grasp.  Inauthentic, shallow.
•       The Water Pump – exaggerated up and down movement. Extreme, Insincere.
•       The Firm Handshake – palm to palm, 2-3 pumps, delivered with a smile. Warm,                        sincere, confident, leadership qualities.  

Here's a humorous video to illustrate the above a bit more.

A handshake is the first and last thing we do at a meeting so getting it right is important. 
Here are 7 tips - 

1. Start conversation or an introduction
2. Stand up while shaking hands to show respect
3. Walk around anything (a table) that may be between you and the person you are shaking hands with
4. Establish eye contact to let the person know they are important. Also helps avoid the   ‘missed hand’ situation.
5. Smile – is actually the handshake before the handshake
6. Shake hands – a full palm to palm, firm-grip handshake with a hand pump 2/3 times  (shake from the elbow) is perfect
7. Dry hands – if you tend to have sweaty hands, keep a tissue in your pocket and use it     before you know you are going to be shaking hands (not in front of the person). Vice versa – if you have shaken hands with a sweaty palmed person, do not wipe your hands immediately and embarrass them. Do it discreetly or later.

Protocol
•       At work, there is no gender bias – you shake hands firmly with men and women. Be the         first to put out your hand.
•       Socially – you can wait for the lady to extend her hand first
•       When you are traveling to different countries keep in mind traditions around greeting              people including handshakes. 

Observe and practice handshakes with your friends and colleagues and get honest feedback. Share your interesting experiences with us and feel free to ask questions.