Grandfather's Love

I was overwhelmed with love for a stranger sitting next to my table. I felt the urge to hug him But of course, I didn’t, so as not to alarm him. He reminded me of my grandfather who I’ve never seen. I silently sent my love to both my grandfathers. It is because of who they were that we are who we are. And it is because of who we are that people around us are. All the more important I turn up more as myself. As I am. 

 

We’re never only just ourselves though, isn't it? We are the amalgamation of so much love and energy of those before us. Of parents, grandparents, and those before them. Of relatives and friends and teachers and even those we don’t really know. 

Relationships are amazing. They teach us who we are and possibly who we can be. 

 

Grandparents’ love is unconditional, selfless. They are so doting, so pampering, so caring. One is fortunate to have enjoyed their love. We need that as children. Play and pampering. Well, we need that always. We receive stories and values that are passed on for generations. We receive their wisdom and experiences. The hard times they went through and the good times…they are a perfect example of the hero’s journey. It is another kind of love. A beautiful thread that binds grandparents and grandchildren. They have gone through so much to give us so much. 

 

We must honor them by doing the same and we do. Take care of our loved ones. We must love them through gratefulness and giving. 

 

We carry our grandparents with us. 

 

I’m wondering what it would be like to adopt grandparents. To experience their inexplicably beautiful, pure love. 

Never Feel Homesick

I’ve been thinking about Home and what/where is home. Trying to figure this out since I like to and want to travel. Is my home within me? I’d like to think so, but I’d like the concept to be clear to me and sink in.

Well, there is the physical concept of home – its warmth and comforts. What is Home? Home is your space – a physical space but not just that – it’s a space of love, peace, joy, caring, nurturing, a space where you’re comfortable with yourself, your guard is down, you are more yourself, you are relaxed. Can you feel that within yourself so it’s not very different when you travel? So you won’t feel lost. 

 

External circumstances and environment may change. What doesn’t change? 

My anchor and my radar! 

 

So, what’s your anchor? – my values, my experience, my confidence, my belief in myself, my priorities. 

 

Your radar? – is the direction I want to take, the kind of life I want to live. Am I clear about that? Yes, I am.

Learning, Growing, Experiencing. I want to be more present to myself so I can experience life to its fullest. Ways to do that – exercise, meditation, focus on breathing, being aware of your thoughts. (Incorporate into daily routine)

Nature, different thinking, cultures, learning new things, being open. Living life in each moment. Fully. 

 

Then why do we feel lost at times? When we take on and live other people’s energies/lives/way of thinking/expectations. Let’s be more aware of that. Behavior and reactions should be yours, not influenced. 

 

Important to be most comfortable with yourself, just the way you are – accepting, loving, being your own best friend, enjoying your own company.

 

They say Home is where the Heart is. Focus on and choose more and more of those activities (and people) that fill you with Joy. Focus on yourself. The more Know Yourself, the clearer you’ll be. 

 

How does this translate for me?

1.     Love and be kind to yourself, no matter what

2.     Exercise, meditate, focus on breathing, focus on thoughts

3.     Focus on all that brings you JOY and LOVE

4. Remember Anchor and Radar always, especially when you’re lost – that’s Home. You can stay in that place or go to it anytime, anywhere. 

Judgement

Judgement is ego poking at us from fear or pride. It is an idea of perfection in our head, based on our conditioning. 

 

Judgement prevents us from being present because we’re addressing a situation or a person from our pre conceived ideas and notions that may be unclear. 

 

Once we let judgement go, life becomes more peaceful. We start accepting situations and people more readily. We're able to see and hear the other person better by being present to ourselves and others. Connections become more comfortable and relaxed.  

It's also about respecting the other for who they are. Once we decide we don't want or need to judge and be judged, we react differently to situations and people. The other person has the right to be treated without bias. So do you. 

Anything of course that we want to apply to the outer world, we must apply to our inner world first. So if it’s no judgment of another, then it's no judgment of myself too! Hard yet important. Worth trying. Its freeing yourself from pressure!

Once you become more accepting of yourself as you are, you tend to become accepting of others just the way they are. Its liberating not just for you but for the other person as well. Nobody's under any pressure or wearing masks. It opens you up more to this amazing world and to connections. Beautiful new connections surprise you. 

How does this translate for me

 

Become aware and say ‘nah ah No Judgy’, when I'm forming opinions based on my ideas or conditioning or experience 

 

When I'm being hard on myself... I say to myself... It's okay I still love you. I love you just the way you are. It’s okay. You're okay. 

Spaces

I have been fascinated by spaces between musical notes... Its spaces that make a piece of music so special. The meaning, the emotions change.

It's similar to life. Spaces make relationships special and valued. More exciting too. You look forward to spending time with someone and that time spent is more valuable, more fun and exciting because you dont know when you'll get it again. You don't take the person or that time for granted. 

Its the same with your relationship with life. Create spaces. Don't stuff it with things, to do lists, relationships that stifle you. Spaces will help you listen, tune in to your rhythm. Tune in to the rhythm of the Universe. Be quiet. You'll understand you know it all. That life runs within you. That the Universe runs within you. You are the Originator, the Creator. 

Its the same with your relationship with yourself. Give yourself the space to Be. Then one can Learn and Grow and Create. Allow space. We are made of spaces. Of a rhythm that flows through us. If we can sing to our own music, we can experience a freedom and space of our own. A place where we can be ourselves. Free of everything. All need. All want. All bonds. We could learn to go that place anytime and stay there. 

So let's contemplate on Spaces in ourselves, our relationships, our lives and living. Maybe that'll help us find and tune in to our own rhythm and make our lives a beautiful piece of music. 

How it translates for me 

You don't own or control anything or anyone. You came with nothing. You are a creation of The Divine. You are here to make music. To sing to your tune. If you have forgotten it. Find it. 

Don't hold on to anything or anyone too tight. Allow them their space. They have to live out their karma and their lives. Even though it may not be easy, allow it with kindness and peace. 

Create space and time and love for yourself. You and others around you will be better off. Experience life for yourself. Go within. Alone. Minus dependency on any name, place, animal thing.

Do share how it translates for you. Maybe I can try them out too. 

7 Tips for Business Travel Etiquette

Weary business travelers have an unsaid camaraderie about them when they see each other at the end of the day waiting impatiently for a delayed flight, picking up souvenirs for the family to avoid the guilt of being away. Some have the ‘feeling important’ look, being the special chosen ones from their company to travel for a meeting. Some like to look busy, barking away orders on the phone. Others quietly retire into a corner with their laptops either keeping up with their emails or their reading. It is fun to watch and observe.

As you may have guessed, I’ve been travelling on work for many years now. Here are some tips I’d like to share based on my observations:

1. Pack well – Pack only what you need but do pack an extra set of clothes. You could allot some space if you like to shop for local stuff like traditional arts and crafts or even souvenirs. Try and pack clothes that will not get crumpled. You could carry a travelling iron. It’s also okay to use the hotel laundry to have your clothes ironed. I carry separators that I put in space saver bags between clothes so they don’t move too much or crumple. 
2. Dress professionally - It is important to look your best for meetings. Dress professionally and carry a combination of clothes you can mix and match if you are staying over a few days. You could carry an evening shirt or blouse if you think you may need to go out for dinner.
3. Maps and addresses - You have set your appointments but make sure you have the updated office addresses and phone numbers in place before going to meetings. Map distances between meetings and the approximate time it will take. Keep in mind your phone just may not find good network signal in that city or may run out of battery. Carrying a backup battery or power bank may come in handy
4. Rental car – make sure your car arrangements have been decided before you land and the driver knows the locations you need to visit. I’ve asked for a change of driver if I’m not happy with the one I get for whatever reasons. Do tip the driver when he drops you back. 
   
5. Hotel etiquette - If we are nice to hotel staff, they are nice to us. This is even more important if you are a frequent guest at the hotel. So what if the company’s footing the bill. We need to behave well and follow the right etiquette. Tip the staff well. Do take time to give feedback when the hotel asks for it so they keep in mind your needs when you visit next.
6. Safety precautions – we need to take adequate safety precautions when we travel to a new place. Don’t stay out late by yourself without having checked if it is safe to do so. Go out with people or friends you know. Ladies need to be extra cautious and on alert when travelling to a new city. I’ve refused to stay at hotels I’m not comfortable in. I’ve asked for a change of car drivers if I’m not comfortable. 
7. Eat light & keep hydrated – One doesn’t have time to eat when one has a packed day running from one meeting to another but it’s important to eat well, eat light and stay hydrated to avoid feeling tired. Carry a snack or a fruit when you leave the hotel in the morning to take care of hunger pangs.

Why don’t you share your tips as well?

10 Tips on Office Etiquette

Don’t we all have that one colleague, who talks too loudly on personal calls? Or the one who sneezes all over without an ‘excuse me’? Office Etiquette is very important in the work environment today. What people think of you is dependent on a lot of factors other than your performance. It is always a good idea to put your best foot forward, whether at your office desk or at the lunch table. 

Here’s a list of things to keep in mind around your office:

1. Stay at home when sick:  Why would you want to infect the rest of the office? Its okay to take a day off if you are sick. If you do end up going to office with a cold or a cough, do be careful to use tissues while coughing or sneezing. You can excuse yourself from shaking hands with others. 
2. Eat lunch in the cafeteria: Most offices have a designated area for lunch and coffee breaks. Avoid eating food at your desk. Your room as well the rest of the office area will start smelling of food you’ve consumed (read  ). At the lunch table, clean up after yourself. 
3. Keep phone volumes low: I’ve seen people at offices do conference calls with the door open or use speakerphones in open offices thereby disturbing colleagues. If you are working in an open area, you could try and be soft or step into a meeting room while making or receiving calls whether official or personal.
   
4. Keep mobile ringtones in check: Ideally keep your ring tone on low volume or on vibration so you don’t disturb your colleagues. Bollywood songs, whistling or other such ringtones are highly avoidable in the corporate environment.
5. Don’t gossip: A highly avoidable habit is gossiping about colleagues and indulging in politics.  Everyone stands to lose this game.
6. Don’t take things from people’s desks without asking: The stapler may be company property but it is still not advisable to take it off someone’s desk without permission. Always ask to borrow things and be mindful to return the item as well.
   
7. Hold back on the perfume: While it is great that you want to smell pleasant at work, do consider that your favorite perfume may not agree with someone else’s sensibilities. Wear light perfumes at work.
8. Ask before changing the AC settings: Everyone has a different preference for the temperature in the room. In case you need to change the AC settings ask your colleagues. You may be surprised to know that everyone thought the room was too cold but decided not to say anything.
9. Follow the Dress Code: Diligently follow the dress code of the organisation. Even casual Fridays call for conservative dressing.  Don’t wear colors that are too loud or clothes that are revealing.  
10. Keep your desk clean and organised: A cluttered desk does not indicate you are working very hard. While personalizing your workplace is a good idea, going overboard with pictures is not advisable. One picture of your loved ones and an inspirational message should be good.

Do share your list of dos and don'ts of office etiquette.

6 Tips to Conducting Effective Office Meetings

I’ve been part of several waste-of-time Monday morning (compulsory) meetings as a junior rookie and wondered why we spent so much time not doing any work.  With almost one work day wasted in office meetings, we were essentially left with 4 work days to do actual client work. 

Office meetings are important for obvious reasons if you look at things from the boss’ perspective. However, they tend to largely drag on or be a waste of everyone’s time especially if it doesn’t directly involve them.

Here are some tips to make office meetings more effective:

1. Invite only relevant people to join the meeting – everyone need not be asked to join the meeting just to be nice to them or make them feel important. A meeting is not a PR exercise.
2. Encourage everyone to be prepared – circulate the agenda in advance and ask people to think and be prepared before they get into the meeting so each person comes with their views. If you need to conduct smaller one-on-one meetings before the big one, do it.
3. Stick to the agenda and goals. Don’t digress - a business meeting with a defined agenda and goals is not the place to air views about other matters and get side tracked. In case there are pending issues to be discussed, set another meeting time.
4. Someone leads the meeting – If you have called for a meeting, you should be concluding it.  You could moderate it or select another colleague to do it.
5. Respect time – Sometimes meetings run so over time that everyone loses energy and interest thereby diluting its purpose. Not to mention a serious waste of precious executive time and productivity. Set a realistic time and stick with it. 
6. Conclusion & Follow up – summarize the meeting, set goals and responsibilities with timelines. Follow up with the concerned parties to ensure tasks have been completed as discussed in the meeting. This is absolutely crucial to achieving progress.

There is of course meeting etiquette that one can take care of to increase effectiveness – the key being leaving gadgets out to rest. If one has the ability to listen and allow other points of view, that works well too.

Viraj Kulkarni, Founder & CEO, Pivot Management Consultants, shares some tips from his experience, “Many of us speak very fast. Be in no hurry, speak slowly to be heard clearly. Slowly, not softly, else you would be asked to repeat. Special attention should be paid to dressing for video conferencing (VC). I’ve seen many people fidget with chair knobs or play with cell phones while on a VC! This should be avoided. Remember to smile. Serious business can be done with a pleasant smile too".

Please share your tips for effective office meetings.